


We Were Meant to Live for So Much More

by justafabulouskilljoy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Fallen Castiel, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-08 03:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1925100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justafabulouskilljoy/pseuds/justafabulouskilljoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a fallen angel who has managed to create quite a fuss (on accident of course) causing hunters all over to take notice. No one knows what he is but they all think he's evil and want him dead. Castiel goes into hiding and stays there until a boy named Dean Winchester finds him claiming he can help him.<br/>Teenage AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Fallen Angel

**Author's Note:**

> The title is based off of the song "Mean To Live" by Switchfoot. I'm not talking about the title chapter. I know it's obvious but I felt as thought it needed to be said.

It's dark and he's tired. He's tired but he can't sleep. He can't sleep because he's scared of the dreams that will plague him when his consciousness slips away. He can't sleep because he if he does he's not safe. He can't sleep because his muscles are too tense and refuse to relax. He can't sleep because his mind is racing and refuses to slow. He can't sleep because there's a creaking sound coming from across the old shed that he's taken shelter in. His heart begins to race and all thoughts of sleep are erased from his brain. He grabs the bat he ran in with and grips it tightly, praying to God that he will make it out of this place alive. He tries to stay quiet but he can't help his breathing begin to pick up speed. He knows whatever is creaking can hear him but he can't stop. The thought of being found is only making his breaths quicker and all the more shallow. His anxiety grows with each passing second

The only exit is past the creaking and whatever is causing it. It's louder than any other sound he's heard in hours. Louder than the crickets chirping just outside. It's louder than the almost inaudible hum of the breeze that causes the overgrown vegetation to sway ever so slightly. Louder than his breathing, which up until now has just been a steady in and out that was even softer than the breeze. Louder than the steady thrum of his heart. Louder than the occasional snap, click, or pop of his bones every time he stretched. Louder than the boy's soft hums when he got bored and exhausted with the silence.

Of course he isn't humming now. Now he is biting down on his lip hard enough to fill his mouth with the metallic taste of the red blood that was coursing through his veins. Now he is trying not to break down into violent sobs and drown in an ocean of tears. He has been in situations like this before. The bad feeling never goes away. The worry for his suddenly very mortal being never subsides. And as much as he wish it would the pain never becomes numbness. It comes back just as sharp and just as agonizing as the time before.

The creaking is louder and he can tell it's nearing him. He stops biting his lip realizing that his mouth is now full of his own blood and it's less than pleasant. He takes a deep breath more than ready to risk it all. For him all wasn't much. The only things he owns are the dirty tattered clothes on his back and the only thing he stands to loose is his life which isn't doing anybody very good. Still he is scared. Just because his life isn't of great importance to the world does not mean that he doesn't value it.

The boy swallows the blood in his mouth even though he hates the taste it leaves as well as the taste that now resides in his throat. He silently curses everything that he can think of for him even being in this situation in the first place. He creeps out from behind the wall that he was hiding behind, sticking to the shadows to see what was filling the quiet air with the cries of the old wood unwilling to bend and threatening to break under the weight that has been bestowed upon it. Even with his broken glasses he can see the silhouette of a man. The man was bigger and taller than he.

The boy ducks back behind the wall trying in vain to convince himself that the might not be the reason for the man's presence. But because he is unable to keep his mind void of thoughts filled with paranoia, a voice in the back of his head questions why the hell else would a man be out in the middle of a broken down old shed in the middle of nowhere. The boy's entrance in the town hadn't exactly been subtle.

"I know you're there." The silence is broken by a husky voice that makes the boy's stomach drop. He pulls himself further into the shadows pulling his legs tightly to his chest with shaking hands. The voice belongs to not that of a grown man despite the deepness of it. Perhaps whoever it is is the boy's age. Maybe he has have a fighting chance. "Hiding won't do you any good." 

He can at least try. He thinks to himself shrinking further into the shadows. As he does this he knocks over a pile of wood from the fallen ceiling. He gasps and quickly hides himself once more even though he knows it is pointless. The creaking becomes louder as the steps of the other boy become nearer. "I'm not going to hurt you." The voice rings again and the boy scoffs without thinking. Like he hasn't heard that before. He knows that the other boy now knows where he is but what he doesn't know is why he isn't advancing. Why isn't he attacking? Why isn't he making an attempt at attacking him like everyone else? Is he telling the truth? Does he not wish harm to him? He can't tell. He's been isolated from people so long he doesn't know how to read them.

"Please..." The other boy's voice pleads and the floorboards creak again as he takes a step towards the boy that is huddled up and shaking in the shadows. "I can help you." He offers.

"How?" He can't help but ask. His voice is raspy from not being used for so long. It almost hurts his throat to speak. He curses himself seeing his sore throat as a punishment for speaking to this person who us more than likely lying to him and a danger to his life. 

"Just come with me. I...my dad he can help you." Well, he'd be damned if that didn't sound suspicious. "He just...he just needs to know what you are." This causes the boy to tense even more. He stands anger enveloping him. There is nothing he can do to stop the harsh words from spilling out of his mouth in a most unsavory manor. 

"What am I? You have the audacity to come in here, no doubt having heard about me and the situations I have found myself in, and ask me to come with you under the presumably false pretenses that you can help me. You don't introduce yourself or give any reasons why you would want to help me but you ask what I am. Why is that?" There is a sudden flash of lightening.

It illuminates the shed revealing walls covered in the graffiti of hundreds of repellent symbols. The other boy in front of him now stands looking terrified. "Is it so you know how to kill me?" There is another flash of lightening that lasts just long enough for him to get a glimpse of the other boy. He is slighter taller with short dark blonde hair and what appears to be green eyes.

"No." The other answers in the strongest voice he can muster. "I need to know so I know how to help you."

"I assure you there's nothing you can do. Yet if you still desire to know what I am I'll tell you." He closes his eyes for a mere moment. His eyes fly open at the third flash of lightening and the lingering light brightens to shed so the other boy can see the large shadow of wings behind him. "I'm an angel of the lord."


	2. Natives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm like a cat in a cage, locked up and battered and bruised  
> I am the prodigal son, a shameful prodigy too  
> I am the love of your life, battering ram and confused  
> I turn each day into night, I stand there waiting for you  
> There is desire to fight, but I have nothing to prove  
> With the crowd and some lights, I start to feel things move  
> Do you have something to hide? 'Cause I think that we all do  
> I am a child inside, back up and give me some room
> 
> I'm just a bastard child, don't let it go to your head  
> I'm just a waste of your time, maybe I'm better off dead  
> You turn us loose in the night, I'm fucking Jekyll and Hyde  
> We'll have the time of our lives although we're dying inside"
> 
> -Natives by Blink 182

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I switched back to past tense because I find myself writing that way naturally either way so it's just easier. Anyways, same goes as before. If it sucks you can tell as long as your nice about it and if it does suck sorry, I tried.

_He closes his eyes for a mere moment. His eyes fly open at the third flash of lightening and the lingering light brightens the shed so the other boy can see the large shadow of wings behind him. "I'm an angel of the lord."_

 

As soon as the words fell from his lips it felt as though something had been pulled away from him. He knew what too. He has moments like that, where his lost grace temporarily comes rushing back to him only to be pulled away leaving him feeling winded and with a renewed sense of vulnerability. He stumbled backwards and the boy whom he assumed was a hunter, quickly moved to catch him. Before the other boy could touch him he was swatted away. "I'm fine." He muttered adjusting his glasses, although he could still see nothing in this light.

"So you're an angel?" The other boy questioned. He furrowed his brow and glared at the hunter boy. Had he really told him that? Why would he have told him that? He wondered silently. Oh well it was out now, why deny it?

"Yes." He spoke softly but it still sounded rough in his unused gravelly voice. He strained his eyes and cocked his head slightly in attempts to try to make out some detail about this boy that wants to help him. A small sliver of the moonlight lighted a fraction of his face revealing green eyes and freckles sprinkled lightly across tan skin.

"Then why are you hiding?" He kept his head tilted to the side debating whether or not he should tell. If he did the hunter would find out that he could in fact be killed, however the boy had suspicions of this anyway. Little did he know he suspected this for reasons other than the truth.

 

The hunter didn't think he was an angel. He didn't think angels existed in the first place. The concept made sense to him, there are demons so why wouldn't there be angels. Still the angels weren't quite the reason for his disbelief. It was the fact that if angels existed that meant God existed. In his mind God couldn't exist. He couldn't let him. God was supposed to be an all-powerful righteous being that controlled everything, every person, every event, every creation, and all that came with it, yet the things that happened on the earth that he supposedly controlled were anything but righteous. Actions that went against his apparent moral code were happening everyday yet this thing, that had the power to do _anything_ , wasn't stopping them in fact this God might even be the cause. That meant two things to him. God either wasn't as righteous as they say or he simply didn't exist. The latter was much more pleasant for him. It meant that there was no control and bad things happened because they just do, not because some un-just God was controlling all of them and causing these wretched things to be happening.

Despite all this there was a boy standing in front of him claiming to be an angel of the lord. Luckily, he wasn't inclined to believe him just yet seeing as though there were holes in his statement.

The 'angel' stood front of him with his head cocked to the side. "Your entire kind wants to kill me. Well, that is if I am correct in assuming that you are a hunter. You are a hunter?" He didn't respond right away distracted by angel boy's alarmingly bright eyes. He could hardly see a thing but his eyes stood out brighter than the sun, which wasn't out, but his electric blue eyes were serving as a suitable substitute. It was kind of like a cartoon where the lights go out and all you can see are just floating eyes.

"Yeah I am but, if your an angel, then it won't matter if they want to kill you or not they can't... right?" He could have sworn that the blazing cobalt eyes dimmed slightly at the question.

"If you're a hunter than why are you offering to help me?" He retorted.

"Well," He replied breathily a slight grin taking over his lips. "I'd like to think that I'm an okay person that likes to help." He offered although it was a lie. He was here because of his father. His father wanted to know what he was. He didn't necessarily want to help. He himself was weary because this boy hadn't caused any damage, well, to any living thing at least. And now, if what this boy was saying was in fact the truth, angels are supposed to be good so he didn't deserve to be killed. He knew this wouldn't matter to his father. For the most part, he hated anything that wasn't human. If it wasn't human he wanted it dead, good or not, because according to him, their instinct was to kill. His father was blind to the irony this statement held.

The blue eyed boy gave him an untrusting eye before taking a deep breath and speaking once more in a deep tone that didn't suit what the hunter had seen of him so far. "That doesn't change the fact that you're a hunter. You are trained to kill things that are inhuman and threats. Also, the fact that you do not believe I am an angel, leaves the possibility that I am a threat, which means you will kill me when you find out how. Unless I provide substantial evidence that I am an angel and I can't do that. It doesn't matter how nice you are. Your profession prevents you from helping me. Not that you could have anyway."

He was blown back by this. He said these things as a matter of fact as though he'd encountered situations like this before. His voice had a slight quiver to it, and the further along he got the quicker the words began to spill out of his mouth and the more his nerves seemed to grow. "Why can't you? Why can't you prove that you are an angel?" He explained further when he angel cocked his head to the side once more. "And what makes you think that I don't believe in angels?" This earned him a deeply annoyed sigh.

"Just because I have lost my grace does not mean I don't pick up on things."

 

Wait...

 

Did he really just say that? Based on the curiosity that bloomed amongst the hunter's barely visible features he could tell that he really did just that slip. "Lost your grace?" A small weight was lifted off his shoulders. It seems that stupidity cancels out stupidity.

"I'm afraid I'm fallen." He muttered wanting to punch himself in the face. Why did he keep telling this boy these things?!

"So you're human?" The hunter asked and he couldn't help but scoff at the ridiculous statement. He would never consider himself human. Even if he lost his grace completely he wouldn't. From what he's seen humans are closed minded, pitiful creatures. Plus, they could do _nothing_. Not even nothing, less than nothing. They could fall victim to half of the things on this earth. They were a strange mix of being incredibly fragile and destructive. They were destroying the planet on which they lived with ease, yet they could be killed in a matter of minutes by something as simple as a peanut. "That's a 'no'?"

"No. I'm not human. My grace does come back to me every so often. It just never lasts very long." He mumbled embarrassed. He looked up for just a second catching the hunter's emerald eye. The only sound was the soft breeze whistling as it blew through the open cracks of the old abandoned shed. For a moment, just a fleeting moment, he didn't feel scared. He didn't feel that fear that had been pulsing through him since he fell a year ago. He wasn't worried that the other boy was going to hurt him. Sure logic was against him on that one, but one thing he'd learned in this terrible misadventure, is that the human (or current less than human used to be angel) gut is never really wrong. To go with it is always an okay way to go. His gut was now telling him that this human boy was safe.

"What's your grace?" The hunter broke the silence and the angel expected to fall back into unease but he didn't. Instead a slight grin formed on his lips.

"Heavenly power."

"Oh..." He paused for a moment, looking down at his feet he rubbed the back of his neck. "What's your name?"

"Castiel."

"Dean Winchester." The hunter grinned sticking his hand out. Castiel looked at it with great curiosity then back at Dean. His grin only grew at this. "It's something humans do. You're supposed to shake my hand. It's a greeting." Castiel nodded and tentatively reached out and grabbed the green-eyed boy's hand with his index finger and thumb shaking his hand. This time the hunter laughed causing the angel to let go and step back unable to understand what was happening. When the hunter laughed he was filled with a warm feeling that he'd never encountered before.

The boy took another step towards Castiel and grabbed his hand in his then moved it up and down. "Like this." Dean said the grin never leaving his face.

"Why do you do this?" The angel didn't get it. "When you meet another person, you grab their hand and shake it? What a strange thing." He noted looking down at their hands which were still joined.

"Yeah it's kind of weird but it's been around for hundreds of years." Dean shrugged and let go of his hand. He shoved his hands on his pockets and his face was taken over by a look of distress. "So... uh... this is kind of awkward but, if you come with me and my family we can help you. Get all the hunters off your tail and everything. I don't think we can do anything about your grace. I think that's kind of out of our range." He said all this while examining his shoes only looking up when he was done to see Castiel's response.

"Okay Dean." He nodded and the other boy's face lit up in a way that Castiel had never seen before.

"Really?" His voice was full of hope although it sounded as though he was trying to force it down.

"Yes."

"Awesome. Come with me." He grabbed his hand again filling Castiel with the same warm feeling from before. He didn't like not knowing that this emotion was but it felt... nice. He liked it. He couldn't say that for most of the human emotions he'd been introduced to.

 

Dean pulled the angel out of the shed into the night. They were in the middle of a dry field with shin high grass. The only thing around for miles was the shed, which looked like it was one misstep away from collapsing into a heap of old wood, dust, and termites, and the other was a black '67 Chevy Impala, that Dean _loved._  Unfortunately it wasn't his. It was his father's.

At the thought of his father he dropped Castiel's hand and pushed down the smile that had found it's way onto his lips. He walked over to the driver's side of the car with Castiel on his heel. The window opened revealing Dean's father. "Dad, this is Castiel."            

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the whole grace and fallen angel thing wasn't accurate, I just went with it because it worked for the other things that I have in store for this.  
> I tried to put more dialogue into this chapter and I'm just kind of keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that I got Dean and Cas' character's accurate.  
> Thoughts?


	3. A Decade Under the Influence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You kept still and until the long drive home  
> You kept safe and close to the window...  
> I got a bad feeling about this  
> I got a bad feeling about..."  
> \---  
> "Sad, small, sure in porcelain  
> You're skin and bones, I'm a nervous wreck  
> I got a bad feeling about this (when it comes to this)  
> I got a bad feeling about this"  
> \---  
> "Close your eyes just settle, settle"
> 
> -Taking Back Sunday
> 
> FYI it's probably not the bad feeling you're thinking it might be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the song is based off of the song "A Decade Under the Influence" by Taking Back Sunday. 
> 
> Sorry this chapter took longer, I got distracted by anime and sleep. This chapter was also written half asleep so sorry if it sucks. Thanks for reading! Hope you like it.

Castiel sat scrunched up against the window, of the big black car. The windows were rolled down, initially giving the leather a chilled feel. The wind was no doubt making his messy hair even worse but he didn't mind. He liked this sensation of speed. He like the low but loud rumbled that constantly sounded from the engine. He understood now why humans like these metal beasts. The ride did little to soothe his nerves though. He was sitting in the back with Dean, sitting as far away from either Winchester as he could manage. Despite the warm fuzzy feeling Dean gave him, he knew that he shouldn't trust him. He did though, so this was him trying to keep himself from doing anything stupid around him. His father was a different story. His dislike of the angel was clear and along side this, Castiel had his reasons to distrust the eldest Winchester.

As soon as Dean had introduced him to his father, anger flashed across the man's face. His son had taken a nervous step back but made sure that he was in front of the blue-eyed boy. If the angel had been accustomed to human interaction he would have noticed that this was a protective gesture. While he didn't realize, it didn't go unseen by, his father, John Winchester. His expression grew even more cross and bitter than it had been.

"Dean, what were your directions." He asked in a low yet, dangerous tone taking a step towards the young hunter. He treated Dean more like an officer would treat a soldier rather than how a father would treat a son.

His son swallowed, keeping his eyes fixed on his shoes, and he didn't respond. John opened his mouth to speak again when he noticed Dean's eyes flick nervously to Castiel. It was very obvious that he wasn't supposed to have seen that, no one was. It was meant to have been a quick read of the blue-eyed boy's face just to make sure he wasn't scared. Seeing that he was he glanced up at his father, not sure what he was hoping to accomplish with the action.

"Over here." John commanded walking so he was out of the angel's hearing distance. Dean took a step to follow but turned on his heel, green-eyes meeting blue.

"Stay here?" It wasn't meant to be a question but he couldn't help the fact that it came out as one. He didn't want him to leave but he also didn't want him to feel like he had to had to stay. He could see the discomfort in everything the angel did and he desperately wanted that to go away. He didn't know why but he figured since the feeling wouldn't leave him he might has well do his best to indulge it.

The blue-eyed angel nodded and he watched as the young hunter nervously made his way towards his father. The sandy haired boy stood in front of his father chewing on his lip as he got yelled at. Castiel couldn't make you quite what they were saying but the yelling continued for almost ten minutes. He caught bits and pieces. He heard 'monster' several times, and 'can't be trusted', all from John's end. It didn't take a genius to figure out they were talking about him. He had it in his mind just to leave but for some reason his stayed. There was no end in sight. The eldest Winchester continued to yell until the boy's face twisted in anger. "I WOULD NEVER PUT SAMMY IN DANGER!" Dean yelled loud enough for Castiel to hear. John looked taken a back and when he spoke next he appeared calmer and quiet.

The cross look on Dean's face didn't leave as they made their way back to the car where Castiel stood. Upon meeting the angel's eyes he said nothing but merely nodded towards the car.

 

•••••

 

The sun was slowly starting to make an arrival lighting the impala with a light yellow glow. Dean normally didn't pay attention to the sunrise and he was really only taking notice because the light allowed him to see finally get a good look at Castiel. He had dark hair that stood up at virtually every angle and he wore what may have been the strangest attire for a fifteen year old boy (this is Dean's guess) he's seen. The angel wore a suit that was much too baggy for him. He had a blue tie that made his eyes stand out even more, something Dean didn't think was possible. He was undeniably attractive. Dean was convinced that's why he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of him. There was no other reason... right?

It wasn't too long after that, that they arrived at 'uncle' Bobby's house. He wasn't their uncle by blood but by any other means he was their uncle. He was an grumpy old hunter and a borderline drunk, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for Dean and his younger brother. They stayed with him whenever John was on a hunt that was too dangerous for the boys. Bobby actually treated them more like a father would treat his children.

John pulled up out front and turned around in the seat before either Dean or Castiel could get out. "I'll be back here in the next few days. Keep everything in order." He commanded and Dean nodded. It took every ounce of will he had to keep from rolling his eyes. He should have know. Dean had insisted over and over that Castiel wasn't dangerous but John still didn't believe him.

His father even glared at the angel as they climbed out of the car. 

"Who's Sammy?" Castiel couldn't help but ask once John had driven away. The green-eyed boy's face split into a proud grin. It was infectious. Castiel couldn't help a small smile crawl it's way onto his lips as well. Dean grabbed the angel's hand and started pulling him towards the house.

"Come on, there's someone I want you to meet." He pulled him towards the front door where a boy with a mop of brown shaggy hair stood.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this chapter isn't one of my bests but it's an in between chapter so it's going to get better, I promise. I have some ideas in store for the next chapter, which will be up faster than this one was.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading and if you could tell me what you thought that would just be marvelous!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it went back and forth from past tense and present tense. I started out with past tense and I changed it to present tense, and I might have missed a few things.  
> This is my first fanfic, so sorry if it sucks. I wrote this at like three in the morning so... there's a large possibility that it may suck terribly and I apologize.  
> Anyways, if you could comment what you thought about it or anything you think I might need to work on that would be awesome and if you like this you might be happy to know that the next chapter will be up in a few days.


End file.
